Me. At least after what I've been through.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
