I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
should my penis look like a turkey
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
