i love accidental penises.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
