We won't sleep together?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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