Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My penis needs a shock collar
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
