Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
