in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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