I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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