In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
