tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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