last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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