Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
