i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
