Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
