The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
BRING THE BAGELS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
