I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
