So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
