Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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