Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
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