just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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