i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
