No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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