I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
