He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
