What did we do last night that was yellow?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
