He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
