forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
