She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
