We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
