ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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