apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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