Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
