were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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