Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
