she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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