9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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