Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We need to get me chipped asap
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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