i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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