That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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