No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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