Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
