Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
