Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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