He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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