Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
