Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
is wine microwaveable?
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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