i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
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