She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
