Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
