they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wear drunk well.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
