Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
