Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she peed on how many people?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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