either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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