I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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