paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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