I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize