did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
