thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize