And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
