I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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