Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
