it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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