There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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